


Total Butt Confidence

by MXD



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Creampie, Exhibitionism, Felching, Gangbang, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-06
Packaged: 2018-05-11 23:30:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5645785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MXD/pseuds/MXD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lawrence impresses Geoff with his knowledge of wiping, but will he impress with his actual butt?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this moment from AHWU #295 ( https://youtu.be/So-KPdxzhNc?t=204) rattled around in my brain until I wrote this. I might write more, but my shame around writing wiping based porn is strong. Very, very strong.

 

It all started with Lawrence giving life advice about butt wiping. Michael got an evil gleam in his eye and was fully prepared to harass Lawrence, but Geoff beat him to it;

 

“So Lawrence, do you have total butt confidence?” 

 

Lawrence stared at Geoff blanky, trying to figure out where Geoff was trying to take this. Lawrence was on Geoff’s home turf, but he wasn’t about to allow Geoff to out gay or out gross him. Lawrence shifted, his giant nerd body snapping into a heroic pose as he prepared himself to challenge Geoff.

 

“Total butt confidence, you say?” Lawrence asked in a haughty tone. 

 

“Yeah,” Geoff drawled, leaning forward and adopting a slightly crazed look. “If you are really confident in your l33t wiping skills you can show people your butt at any time and not be worry.”

 

Lawrence’s ego kept him from cringing. Working at Funhaus and all of the fan art and fan fiction had caused Lawrence to become enamored with his own ass. You could say, that Lawrence was an ass about his ass. 

 

“Actually, Geoff, I would say I have total butt confidence. I happen to know that I have a beautiful, well maintained butthole.”

 

At this point James was staring at Lawrence with only partial open mouthed horror because he has totally eaten Lawrence out and can confirm both the beauty and cleanliness. Adam was determined to stay out of it because he was convinced that Geoff would use it as an excuse to get everyone to whip out their buttholes. Michael was staring at the wall trying to contain all of the evil gay horniess in his body. And everyone else was pretending not to be invested in this stand off even though they were in the process of filming it. 

 

“So, you,” Geoff pointed at Lawrence. His movements inexact as he played up his drunken typecasting to try and throw Lawrence off. “You think if you just pull your pants down right now you’d be clean as a whistle?”

 

“Actually, Geoff, I know I’d be clean as a whistle,” Lawrence sleazed. “And my whistle is also clean.”

 

Geoff’s body snapped to his full adult height. His shoulders squared and a smile played on his lips. Geoff had run his gambit and felt he had Lawrence trapped.

 

“Alright, prove it.” Geoff snapped.

Everyone in the room froze. Except for Kovic who threw his hands in the air because he couldn’t believe there was going to be another stupid, interoffice sex meme to deal with. Lawrence tipped his head down, trying to hide his glee at having another chance to be a shameless fanservice guy. 

 

Lawrence snapped turned to the side, his back arching to show off the fullness of his ass. Lawrence stared Geoff down as he pushed the back of his pants down under his ass. Lawrence’s butt bloomed out of his pants like bread dough rising up from a bowl, ready and begging to be kneaded. 

 

Lawrence leaned over and touched the floor, displaying his flexibility yet again. But this time his butthole was out for extra fanservice. Lawrence was surprisingly at ease in the position, even though the blood was rushing to his head. Geoff walked behind Lawrence and squatted down. Lawrence’s full meaty ass was spread open slightly from the position of Lawrence’s body. The full, creamy cheeks trembled slightly and Geoff could easily see the soft and inviting red of Lawrence’s butthole stripe. 

 

Lawrence gasped when he felt Geoff’s hands on his ass. Geoff roughly pulled  Lawrence’s cheeks apart until he found a hand position that gave him the right access. Geoff’s thumb and pointer finger pried open Lawrence’s cheeks and perfectly framed his hole. It was as clean as Lawrence said it was. 

 

“Welp he’s clean. Anyone else want to take a look?” Geoff stalled, he wanted to torture Lawrence as long as possible. Getting to stare at Lawrence’s pretty hole was just an added benefit. 

 

“I’ve seen it!” James called out from his position on the couch, his legs wrapping around themselves to try and hide his boner. 

 

“Well I’ve tasted it!” Joel R called out because he hadn’t had any attention in a while. “You know if you drop some toaster pastry on Lawrence’s butt, you can eat it right off. Though it will taste a bit salty if you just creampied him.”

 

“Are you saying you aren’t a thorough felcher?” Ryan asked, offended by the thought of wasting semen. 

 

“No, no, I am, I just really wanted a snack that one time and the box was right there, and-”

 

Joel R was interrupted by Adam stomping around in a circle. Adam was staring at the ceiling, screaming inwardly that this was totally going to become some dumb sex meme and he would totally end up showing his butthole at the worst possible time. The guys would get him in an elevator or right before they did something with fans, Kovic just knew it. 

 

A few guys took a peek at Lawrence hole before Geoff slapped Lawrence on the ass and told him to get up. Never being one to waste an opportunity, Geoff rubbed his fingers over Lawrence’s hole as Lawrence stood up. The warmth of Lawrence’s fat, soft cheeks encased Geoff’s fingers as the tip of one briefly popped inside of Lawrence’s hole. The tiny lower mouth sucked at Geoff’s finger and it was almost hot enough to make Geoff fall to his knees and eat Lawrence out. 

 

Michael ground his teeth. Though he had taken a look at Lawrence’s hole and was impressed by how inviting and red it was, Michael was still jealous that other hole would get to feel Geoff’s cock sliding up it. Michael knew he’d never have Geoff’s cock all to himself, especially with the random founder orgies they had, but he just wanted Geoff’s dick more often. 

 

“So Lawrence is hard!” Michael hollered, pointing at the bulge in Lawrence’s pants like it was a freak show. 

 

“Just mean’s he’s healthy,” Geoff sang out, grabbing Lawrence’s dick through his jeans and giving it enough of a stroke to break Lawrence of his haughty shamelessness. 

 

Joel R and James shared a look, they hadn’t seen Lawrence that turned on since they dp’ed him. Kovic was still spinning around aimlessly, as Gavin coyly exchanged eye fuckings with Jack. 

 

“So Lawrence’s Total Butt Confidence is confirmed, who’s next?” Geoff asked in his official voice. “How about you, Jeremy?”


	2. Total Butt Confidence pt2 Jeremy's Butt Bugalooo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy shows that he's just as confident as Lawrence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't act like you've never thought of Jeremy being a pass around bottom

Jeremy was never the shy type, so having the full attention of his boss would never make him back down. Having everyone else in the over stuff office staring at him expectantly was also not enough to scare him off.  Giving Geoff a reason to grope him was the last thing Jeremy would ever run from. 

 

“So, Lawrence was cleaner than when to you first move into a new apartment and nothing is in there. And they cleaned it up for you before you jam all of your shit in there. So Jeremy, do you think you're that clean?” Geoff asked

 

Geoff was swaying his hips from side to side, it was almost threatening and sexual at the same time. Jeremy has the biggest grin on his face, his belt undone and his pants unzipped. Jeremy jiggled his pants, the metallic tinkling calling even more attention to the burst of white skin erupting from the dark fabric Jeremy was wearing. 

 

Geoff’s eyes were wide, not even bothering to try and conceal his glee. Jeremy was a bit hairier that Lawrence. Jeremy’s whispering eye framed on each side by a sparse set of eyelashes. 

 

“You know, I gotta say that Jeremy’s hole is just a bit more manly than Lawrence’s. Lawrence was really pretty down here, but Jeremy is a bit more rough looking. Like, this is the butthole of someone that could beat me up. I feel slightly threatened by Jeremy’s butthole.” Geoff opined. 

 

“Geoff, I'm sure you're feeling something, but I don't think threatened is the right word.” Ryan interjected. “Unless it's your heterosexuality being threatened.”

 

Geoff ran his hand over Jeremy’s back. Jeremy’s more muscular body meant that his cheeks spread themselves open when he bent over. Looking at Jeremy’s lower mouth was like staring at a pink balloon knot floating in a glass of milk, if that glass had and invitingly hairy rim. 

 

“So, Boss, if you aren’t certain you can always take a taste test,” Jeremy giggled. 

 

Michael rolled his eyes and looked around the room. Kovic had shifted away from looking like he was afraid that people would find out his dirty secret to looking like he was ready to kill Geoff. Geoff was leaning down, his face inches away from Jeremy’s hole, and then he spat on it. 

 

“Well, this would call for a white glove test. But seeing as we don’t have any I could just use my cock.” Geoff’s cheeks were pink with arousal. His demeanor changed from trying to intimidate Lawrence to pure joy that Jeremy’s ass was in his face. “I mean, if that’s okay with you, Jeremy?”

 

“Hey, you do whatever you feel like you need to, Geoff,” Jeremy said far too eagerly. 

 

Michael rolled his eyes again and mocked Jeremy under his breath, looking up just in time to duck a bottle of lube that Gavin had thrown at Geoff. A throw that managed to be about a foot to the left of Geoff.

 

“JEEZUS GAVIN!” Geoff screamed, yanking Jeremy’s ass back against his crotch. “What did I say last time? You lob the lube, and you get the other person’s attention first.”

 

Ryan nodded at Geoff and tossed a bottle of lube at him. Once Geoff snatched it out of the air, Ryan shot Gavin a look and a pointed eye roll. Gavin scrunched his face up at Ryan to tell him to fuck off. Ryan used the edge of one of his throwing knives to reflect light into Gavin’s eyes and remind him not to play with fire. 

 

Geoff unceremoniously lubed himself up and shoved himself inside of Jeremy. Jeremy’s face was split in an almost demented grin, self satisfied that he had gotten Geoff to fuck him. Geoff’s head was thrown back the entire few minutes that he fucked Jeremy and Geoff came, whining like Jeremy’s hole had made him cum painfully hard. 

 

Jeremy spun around and sucked the cum off of his boss’s cock, “Wow Geoff you did not last long, buddy.”

 

“Well between you and Lawrence tooting your booties in the air I wasn’t going to be able to last long,” Geoff tripped over his words while he rubbed his neck. Embarrased, but too deep in a sex haze to care. 

 

Michael gnashed his teeth and Kovic was still looking around like a trapped, engraged rat. Jack and Ryan were pretending to get work done, like this was the kind of thing that happened all of the time. Like the sweaty, spicy smell of sex wasn’t working on their cocks. 

 

“So Jeremy,” Michael growled, “are you taking on all cummers?”

 

“Oh, Michael, BUDDY!” Jeremy cheered. “You know I always have room for you.”

 

Michael slammed his hand down onto Jeremy’s back, forcing Jeremy to brace himself on the desk. Michael shoved himself inside of Jeremy’s hole. He hated to admit it but Geoff did a great job warming Jeremy up. Their boss’s cum lubing up Jeremy’s muscular hole, any moment Michael stopped thrusting was met with Jeremy’s hole sucking down onto his cock. 

 

Michael was still pissed with the attention Jeremy was getting, so he grabbed Jeremy by the hips and yanked jeremy off the ground. Jeremy pushed down on the desk, his legs swaying with every one of Michael’s brutal thrust. Jack made the mistake of locking eyes with Jeremy, the munchkin was red faced and biting his lip with pleasure. Jack figured he wouldn’t be able to get any work done with a boner and decided to fuck Jeremy next. 

 

Michael was still half holding Jeremy in the air when he shot his load. Michael let out a load groan, you could hear that he was annoyed but Jeremy was too good not to nut in. Michael unceremoniously pulled out of Jeremy and dropped him. Jeremy landed on his feet like a cat which managed to annoy Michael even more. 

 

Jack shucked his pants to the floor and leaned back in his chair. His massive dong poking up from his lap like a small arm rather than an actual penis. Jack thumped his dick on the edge of his desk, the sound deeper and more resounding than a dick hitting a desk had any business being. Ryan gasped when a bit of Jack’s hot precum flicked off Jack’s landed on his arm, it almost burned and Ryan could barely keep himself from licking it off. 

 

By the time Ryan looked back up Jeremy was already sliding down Jack’s dick. Jeremy had a smug smile on his face as he worked his way down Jack’s shaft until he hit base. Jack was gripping onto the arms of his chair, biting at the air like a dog biting water. Jack couldn’t believe that Jeremy’s hole could wrap around his dick like that, that it could be so warm and so wet from the loads that Geoff and Michael had blown in him. 

 

Jack was even more shocked when he felt his cum slide up his dick and start spilling out into Jeremy. The first bit just spilled out, like Jeremy’s hole had magically sucked it out, but the next bit shot deep into Jeremy’s ass. Jack wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s small body and jammed him down onto his spurting cock. Jeremy’s eyes rolled back in his head, Jack’s dick was almost too much for him, almost. 

 

Jack slumped in his chair, sweaty and weak. Jeremy made a show of sliding off Jack’s dick. Nice and slow to remind everyone of just how large Jack was and that Jeremy had conquered his dick with ease. 

 

Kovic’s eyes were about to fall out of his head. His mini me had taken 3 dicks in such a short time period and showed no sign of remorse or fatigue. James eyeballed Kovic, jerking his head to tell him to take the next crack at Jeremy’s creampied crack. Kovic shook his head slightly, concerned that at this point his cock wouldn’t leave a lasting impression in Jeremy’s fuck trench. The next dick would just cum inside and wash away the memories of Adam’s dick rubbing around inside of Jeremy’s hole. 

 

“I’ll have a go if you are still up for it,” Gavin said politely. He swept his hand in a grand gesture to the space he cleared on the desk to fuck Jeremy. 

 

Michael rolled his eyes, “That’s the cleanest Gavin’s desk has been since he sat there.”

 

“Well I wanted to fold him up like a gymnastics pretzel and I wanted it to be comfortable to him!” Gavin shot back.

 

“I told you, I need warning if you are going to shove my feet in my face, Gavin!” Michael screamed, spittle shooting out of his lips like his cum had previously shot into Jeremy. “That isn’t a normal position for me! I need time to warm up!”

 

Gavin’s surprisingly long cock bobbed in front of him, pushing out drips of precum as Michael yelled at him. A beaded string of precum made it all the way to the floor before Gavin’s cock jerked upward again, snapping the connection. 

 

“So Gavin gets hard when Michael yells at him?” Bruce stage whispered to Lawrence, who was gaping in awe that Jeremy got both Jack’s and Gavin’s cock while he got a fingertip from Geoff. 

 

“Kind of like how you get hard when Peake bosses you around, Bruce?” Lawrence actually whispered, earning himself a deep burning blush flashing onto Bruce’s face.

 

Jeremy whined when Gavin slid into him. Gavin was just a touch shorter than Jack’s but noticeably thinner. Still Gavin’s dick was longer and thicker than Michael and Geoff. Gavin grabbed Jeremy’s ankles and slowly pressed them down until they hit Jeremy’s nose. Gavin froze up for a moment, his longtime goal had been reached and he suddenly realized that he didn’t know how to thrust in such a strange position. His feet planted on the floor and his body arched over Jeremy’s in such a weird way. Gavin tried thrusting a few different ways, including hopping up and down while oddly hip bumping his already bottomed out dick in Jeremy’s hole. 

  
Gavin eventually settled on a slight rocking motion that Jeremy managed to reciprocate. A gentle few inch ride that ended with Gavin pressing his weight down into Jeremy’s butt. Jeremy laid there on the desk, his ankles pinned to his face, just taking all that gavin had to offer. 

 

“Jeremy can you breath like that?” Geoff asked, slipping into daddy mode while contorting his body to one side in a failing attempt to make sense of what Gavin was doing to Jeremy. 

 

Jeremy shot a thumbs up into the air before Geoff could even finish his sentence. Gavin finished inside of Jeremy with a self satisfied sigh. 

 

“That’s it?” Kovic’s voice broke. “Did you even cum inside him?!”

 

“Yeah,” Gavin said sheepishly, tucking his cock back into his pants. 

 

“Gavin is often a silent cummer, but he has massive loads he sprays deep inside you,” Michael said reverently like he was commentating golf. 

 

Kovic whined deep in his throat. Incredulous that Jeremy could take dick like that. That Jeremy warm, furry, little body contained a tardis booty. Memories of Jeremy sitting in his lap played in Kovic’s mind. Jeremy had  perfectly sat himself on top of Kovic’s dick, but Kovic hadn’t considered that Jeremy would sit on so many other dicks.

 

“We’re next,” James said to Jeremy, pointing between himself and Joel R.


End file.
